The birth and infancy of the urban Arab child differs little from that of the American child. Hospital procedures and child-rearing practices, at least in infancy, are very much like those in the West.
Long-standing practices, that continue today in some of the rural areas of the Arab world, are worth mentioning. Three traditional practices include: the mid-wife, the wet nurse, and swaddling.
At a time when midwifery is making a comeback in the West, this institution is quietly disappearing from many parts of the Arab world.4And while midwife methods varied greatly from one age to the next depending on local customs, one universal notion considers the birth process as being “women’s work” and shameful for men to be present. Hence the necessity for the daya (“midwife”).
The midwife obtained her knowledge empirically or from her mother. Usually an elderly woman, she was respectfully perceived as a mother and grandmother. The midwife, with several other women working under her supervision, kept order among the women present (relatives, friends), exhorting them to remember the seriousness of the occasion, while ordering them to tend to this or that.
The delivery completed, the mid-wife would then carefully examine the child. She would check the baby frequently during its first days and weeks.
Before the advent of the baby bottle, all babies were breast-fed by the mother and/or a wet nurse. To be fed, the baby required its mother at all times, for the baby must never be allowed to be hungry. No rigid feeding schedules; the Arab baby was and is fed often and upon demand, or at the slightest sign of restlessness.
If the mother was unable to nurse, or had died, the child was given over to a wet nurse. Sometimes, for example, during the busy harvest time when all labor is needed, the mother would be forced to leave her baby with a woman who had a baby and had offered her services as a wet nurse.
Beliefs concerning the influence of the wet nurse and her milk upon the child and its character were as numerous as the local customs involved. But one widespread custom defined children nursed by the same woman as foster siblings. A boy and a girl nursed by the same woman were considered brother and sister and could not marry.
Such foster-brothers and foster-sisters often helped each other throughout life and would call each other brother and sister.5
With the advent of the baby bottle and the substitution of animal’s milk for mother’s milk, nursing by another person was no longer necessary. Then too, the relationship of foster-brother and foster-sister, and all its consequent customs of caring and sharing, began gradually to disappear.
The third traditional custom, now confined to rural areas and related to babyhood, is the custom of swaddling infants. A midwife’s role included the bathing of the newborn infant in warm water to which she added salt and olive oil, both thought to be beneficial to the skin. Then the child was wrapped and wound in pieces of soft cloth, the total effect termed “swaddling.”
The midwife, the wet nurse and swaddling represent three ancient institutions which for millennia have played an important role in the birth and childhood of the people of this region. What of today?
While customs and practices have seen considerable change in the past century, important values have not changed. The underlying cultural values relating to childhood and the role of the child in the family have remained little altered.
The baby bottle is becoming extremely common and is associated by many Arab women with Western and emancipated ways. This is reinforced by makers of infant formula who would have their customers believe it is modern and scientific and that it ensures what we all want: what’s best for our babies.
The consequences for many babies in developing countries has been just the opposite. The Nestle Company is currently the target of a U.S. boycott campaign which cites this largest seller of infant formula to developing nations as responsible for much of the widespread “bottle illness” taking its toll of infants in Third World nations.
The degree to which the “Bottle Baby Scandal” is applicable to the Arab world is not clear. Most of the data related to “bottle illness” center on black Africa, South America and India, while little has come forth regarding the Middle East.
It is known that some Arab countries have taken measures to counteract the threat. Algeria, for example, has nationalized baby milk imports and distributes them now with clear warnings on the label. They have also initiated an intensive breast-feeding campaign in their 400 maternal and infant health clinics. Libya has made it mandatory for any business with 50 or more female employees to provide on-site nursery facilities so that mothers can breast-feed their infants. In Iraq, similar facilities can be found.
Whether fed by breast or bottle, the Arab infant is indulged, and this indulgence carries over in the transition to solid food, introduced at about the age of two. The general indulgence and permissiveness surrounding the Arab child extends also to sleep and toilet training, and is in line with more modern Western practices.
Discipline remains in the mother’s hands at this age. The mother scolds and spanks for misbehavior, but also offers encouragement to the child to walk and talk and, by the age of three, to toilet train.
Arab children usually learn to walk at a later age than many Western children. One popular theory explains that the constant fondling and carrying by adults, leaves little opportunity for the child’s feet to touch the ground.
At about the age of three or four the father and other male relatives begin to play a more important role in the child’s life. As the child begins to see the father as an authority figure, the mother’s role changes. It is she to whom the child is likely to turn for help with an angry or disagreeable father. Not unlike the roles played by Western family members, mother often intercedes with the father on behalf of her son, while the daughter is likely to seek the father’s intercession with the mother.
The Western stereotype of the stern authoritarian Arab father is not a correct one. The Arab father, to generalize, is neither “cold” nor “aloof” within the family circle. Usually warm and tender towards his children, he enjoys the physical contact—the romping and playing.
Childhood in urban areas lasts long and is a time of carefree games and amusements within a large circle of cousins, relatives and neighborhood friends. Boys in particular have few household responsibilities. After school and depending on age, girls (particularly the oldest girl) assist their mothers—fetching things, caring for younger children, while boys run errands, assist their fathers, or keep a watchful eye on younger brothers and sisters when adults are away.
Rural children play more of a role in the economic life of their family. They have more chores and greater responsibilities. Rural life for girls was, and is, equally hard, if not harder than that of boys. Doing women’s work, she cleans, baby tends, fetches wood, eggs and water, and works in the fields.7
The rate at which any Arab child progresses through developmental sequences of childhood, is, it should be noted, influenced by the child’s sex and sibling order and by family structure. For example, the care and treatment a first born boy receives compared with his sisters and later-born brothers is usually one of greater indulgence. The oldest girl has greater responsibilities as mother’s helper. Her childhood is short, and she has less time to spend with her peers. The oldest boy, although greatly spoiled, is most quickly pushed into adult associations and responsibilities. His responsibilities will be great indeed! The baby of the family, too, receives a great deal of attention (until he is replaced by another). And of course, the amount and quality of attention given to any one child depends on the size of the nuclear family and the availability of the extended family to meet some of the child’s needs.
