Family Roles

In the nuclear family, the mother’s first responsibility is to her children; she plays the key role in their early years. The father assumes an increasingly important role in the child’s third or fourth year, becoming the symbol of authority and chief disciplinarian.

Other members of the extended family have their roles. When the nuclear family lives in isolation, father and mother are expected to deal with all the child’s needs most often met by adults. Within an extended family, some of these needs may be met by aunts and uncles and adult cousins, because these individuals may be better equipped to deal with certain needs of the child than the child’s own parents. American teenagers and their parents would be the first to see the many advantages of such a family system. The Arab child simply has many more avenues of guidance, help and friendship.

Paternal uncles play a significant role in the child’s life. As a substitute father, the father’s brother assumes all the father’s responsibilities in the event the father dies or is incapable of performing them.

Grandparents in the extended family contribute to the child’s development. In the Arab world, prestige and power are attached to age--especially for the grandmother. Of course, the power grandmother wields largely depends upon the forcefulness of her own character. Grandmother often intercedes on behalf of her grandchildren and will even intercede in the disciplining being meted out by her son, the child’s father. Grandfather, if present in the child’s household, is the undisputed head of the family. Everyone submits to this authority. Grandmother submits at least overtly.

It is the grandfather, though not uncommonly the grandmother, who passes along an oral tradition through stories (often told as parables) and history. This prescribed role not only directs moral guidance and character development, but also endears the grandparent to the family.

What is the role of the Arab child in the family? Pampered and spoiled by a family of many adults, the child is the object of a great deal of physical contact. While lacking toys in the material sense of store-bought items, the Arab child does not lack amusements and games. The Arab child also has few responsibilities toward the family.

In analyzing the religious influences on child-rearing practices in the Arab world, it is not correct to speak of the “religious aspects” of the Arab child or of child-rearing practices, because this culture as a whole is religious. Religion permeates the whole of it. Life in its totality falls under the aegis of religion. It is a way of life, a code of behavior, a total frame of existence. Popular religion here is not of the pure theological character found among the ranks of the religiously educated.

Religion in this ancient land is to be seen as a new layer laid upon the older ancient layers of folk religion--continuing beliefs and practices that represent not only superstition but basic values which enrich and give meaning to life. Anthropologists have suggested that parallels in beliefs and popular practices in Judaism, Christianity and Islam might be traced to an older folk religion of the region.